DISCLAIMER 2: Also, if you haven't read the books, and I have spoiled part of a book for you, I am deeply sorry because I know how much book spoiling ruins a good book. I tried to keep a lot of the important details from the 2nd and 3rd book out of this post and tried to show it with most of the first book.
Reading for me is disappearing into an alternate universe. (Hint: Sometimes I really believe that it is books that helped me make it through my years in middle school and high school) It is an escape from reality, where you don't have to talk to people. I should really focus my blog on writing more book reviews, but then reading becomes a chore instead of my me time. Sometimes, I enjoy reading other people's book reviews because it gives me another insight as to how someone else perceived the book. I've read many books. I enjoy reading and I probably finish one, if not two books a week during the summer. That being said, can you call it a book review, if you haven't read the book?
So many women are complaining about how bad 50 Shades of Grey is. Not the quality of writing, but the content. Things I have read from other bloggers:
It is causing women to lust for someone who is not their husband.
If their husband allowed them to read these books, she would be forced to let him watch porn. Because they are equivalent.
It is just proving that money and looks are extremely important.
Ana has really low self esteem and practically no self-confidence.
While many people consider these books "Mommy Porn," a lot of people say they are bad for your marriage or relationship. Most of the complaints that I have heard are from people who admit that they haven't read the book. That they refuse and that there is nothing anyone will ever say that will change that.
How many people have never read a Nicholas Sparks or Danielle Steel? How many people haven't watched a movie with a make-out scene and thought about how good looking a guy is?
Here are 10 things I learned from 50 Shades of Grey that the non-reading book critics won't tell you:
1. Love comes at the most unexpected times.
Ana is getting ready to graduate college. Her friend is sick and she goes to interview Christian. She is not out on a date. She is not speed dating or on match.com. She is doing an assignment for school. There is no clue that she walks into this interview expecting to fall in love. She even leaves the interview not liking him. She thinks he is rude and arrogant.
As time goes on, they start their fling. This is her very first guy that she has ever had in life other than her step dads. She is not out looking for sex, mostly because she is innocent and clueless.
Neither of them plan to fall in love with each other, but read the second book and you will quickly see a change.
2. Eating shouldn't be a crime as a woman. But either is exercise.
Some days I feel like women think that eating something you enjoy is a crime. It is bad for you. You are going to get fat. There is a lot of background history about Christian that readers don't quite get until the 2nd and 3rd books, but he makes sure that Ana is eating. He freaks out when she doesn't. There are a lot of women that would do good to have someone in their life that tells them that they need to eat. He makes sure that Ana is healthy as a way of protecting her.
Even though Christian almost forces her to eat, he also encourages her to workout with a personal trainer. And the best part, when she finally does, she enjoys it.
3. Money doesn't buy happiness.
At one point, Christian gives the reader a clue of exactly how much he is making per hour. It is a number more than most people in the United States see in a year, if not two or three years. That being said, he is still miserable without Ana. He has his own live in help and security team. He owns 3 homes, a boat, a few cars, a private jet, and a helicopter, but he still isn't happy. This book does a good job of showing that even if you have all the possessions in the world, it doesn't mean you are going to be happy. He often wondered if Ana only loved him for his money, but many times she told him that it had nothing to do with the money. In fact, most of the time she hated the money. She just wants to go back to a normal quiet life. A few times in the book, the money causes a problem that creates more stress and unhappiness than you ever see with happiness in the trilogy.
4.While there is a lot of sex, it is not the entire story line.
I will be quite honest as to say that I did just skim over the bedroom parts. It didn't really interest me as much as if they are together in the end. There are quite a few sex scenes and some of them get a little over the top and explicit, but there is still another 400 pages of each book that aren't filled with sex. I will admit that some of them start to get a little redundant, but if you are interested in it, there is a lot to be said there.
5. Family comes first.
Christian loves his parents, his sister, and his brother. He is very clear that their well-being is important to him as well. There are quite a few family dinners and Christian makes sure to go to all of the charity events that his parents put together. When someone is in danger, he makes sure that he finds a way to help protect them. He loves his family, even if it is hard for him to show it in the beginning.
When you really love someone, a lot of other things don't matter.
6. People aren't Perfect.
People often point out how low Ana's self esteem is and how she lacks major self confidence. A lot of them say this as if she needs to just suck it up and be proud of who she is, but in reality. How many of today's high school girls feel this way! Let alone middle school, and *gasp* elementary school girls. They are self-conscious. They don't like their bodies. They are afraid to sound dumb.
People get jealous. People mess up. People care too much. People say things that they don't necessarily mean in the heat of an argument. Ana and Christian do all of these things. They fight, they cry, they laugh, they have awkward clumsy moments. They have many jealous moment in their relationship, but doesn't every relationship have a slight jealous moment, even if over something small.
7. Women can work and enjoy their job.
I think this is one of my favorite points about the whole book. Ana still works. Actually, most the time it is a fight for her to go to work, but she still does. She got her college degree, she interviewed for her dream job, and she got it. She doesn't need the money that she brings in, but it keeps her from waiting around the apartment. The best part is, she still enjoys working. Very few times does she say that she doesn't want to go to work, but that she is actually looking forward to going to work. She enjoys the break from being home. She actually gets a great promotion and feels on top of the world.
8. Relationships take communication and trust.
I honestly can't count the number of times that Christian stresses the fact that they need to communicate how they feel. He also mentions trusting each other and as you read, you see the couple gain trust in each other. Small steps at a time, but they begin to trust each other in ways that were never imaginable in the first book.
Many people don't think about trust being a huge part of a relationship. They know they should in the back of their mind, but I personally know a lot of females who hear one bad thing about something their boyfriend may have done from someone else and they don't think twice about the fact that maybe he didn't do it.
9. People can change for those they love.
Christian does a complete 180 from the first book to the last page of book three. He stresses that he would do anything for Ana because he loves her. People should not give up hope so quickly when they meet someone that is a little rough on the edges.
While I am not quite sure that this is a good thing I want to put out because I know there are women who are in abusive relationships and thinking that "If he loved me, he would change" type of thoughts. It isn't always true. In this case, Ana actually helped him face his demons from his past that he had been ignoring all his life. She made him come to face the facts about his High School Lover.
Not everyone changes for love, but it is a possibility.
10. The best firsts are shared with those you love.
They travel places for the first time. They do things in bed for the first time. Christian brings a girl home for the first time. There are countless points in the book where they share firsts together. Her first time spending too much money on a dress. Her first time leaving the country, riding in a helicopter. Not all firsts are about being in bed together, but those firsts are extra special when you spend them with the one that you love. No, she didn't wait for marriage, but it was the love shared between them that mattered to her.
Bonus: Chivalry is NOT dead.
While Christian has a skewed way of showing it, he is very chivalrous. He buys little things and big things for her. He pays for the meals and he takes her out to meals and banquets often. Only once or twice is there a moment when they are sitting on the couch watching TV together. Which says a lot about many American couples today (not that my boyfriend and I don't enjoy lounging on the couch.)
He plays the piano for her. He sends her cute e-mails and text messages in the middle of the day to see how work is going. He makes sure she knows how much he loves and misses her every chance he can get. While hearts and flowers are "not his thing," he does a good job of showing her that he cares about her. (Even though he can be a little crazy and boarder line abusive.)
I accept that not everyone will feel the same way about a book that I do. I definitely understand that some people will be offended by some of the material in them, but Mr. Nuns, my middle school librarian always used to tell me that you can't judge a book by the first 20 pages. And everyone has always said, "You can't judge a book by its cover." Even though that phrase is mostly talking about judging people, it is still very relevant for books.
I know not everyone will enjoy the books, but I don't think that some people should be so quick to judge. I know that if you are a reader, you have read a book with a girl who is hopelessly in love with someone who may not be good for her, but they end up living happily ever after. He figures out what he needs to after she threatens to leave. It is the most over used story plot in all books, but it keeps people coming back for more.
If you aren't an avid reader, then I am almost 100% sure that you have watched a movie or a TV series that follows the same perimeter of the story plot described above. If you haven't, you have probably been living in a hole, because quite frankly, almost every single TV series has someone that is hopelessly in love with someone.
Give them a chance and let me know what you think of them!
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