We have found a place in Omaha that we will be moving into. I am going to school. He got a full time job! I am going to continue with my military training.
Here is why I am addressing this. Many people have given me questionable, weird looks when I say that we are getting an apartment together. That I am switching from Lincoln to Omaha for school. I have gotten some "shame on you" finger pointing and some disapproving looks. I know that it doesn't matter what other people think, but at the same time it does matter to me.
Reasons that I am okay with moving in with no plans of marriage
1. Getting to know each other.
For the married folks, you know what I am talking about. You get to know a person a whole lot better once you are living with them. How the brush their teeth. Do they sing in the shower? Do they leave their gross, dirty underwear on the bathroom floor when they shower.
For some people these may not seem like a problem, but every person has their own little quirks and when you move in with that person, one thing you need to decide is whether or not you can live with those for the rest of your life.
2. Statistics
Rates are increasing a lot within the teenage/ young adult age group. There is less stigma about getting married young, so many people are okay with living together before marriage, while they are finishing their education. More females are actually going to college as well, so there are more females who want to wait to get married until they have finished college.
While studies have shown that those who live together before marriage are more likely than those to break up. Some studies also show that those people who do make it to marriage are happier with living together after marriage and less likely to divorce. People know the other person and they are comfortable with them.
3. I am in no hurry to get married, settle down, and have kids.
I know this is the same for a lot of people my age. They like the idea of being with someone, getting married and all of that, but they want to finish school. I hope to finish my 4 year degree, then move on to a masters program. I am still unsure what I want to do as far as a job after than, but I have a general field that I want to go in.
Personally, I want to focus on career success before I have another little life to worry about. Many people are continuing to work on other things and the average age of marriage and first kid is getting a lot older than it used to be. I have a long time before I think about starting to plan a wedding. Sure, every girl is mentally planning it and thanks to Pinterest, who isn't planning some wedding ideas (even your second wedding for some of you).
Even if I am planning my wedding to some degree, it doesn't mean that I want to actually be planning it anytime soon.
Personally, we have been together for 8 months today, by the time we are fully moved into our apartment, it will be 9 months. It is longer than some, but still not very long. I want to be together for at least 3 years before I think about marrying someone. Granted, Matt and I dated my freshman year in high school and kinda stayed friends throughout. He was my best friend (other than Katelin of course) before we started dating. But like I said before, I am in no hurry.
4. Because my first marriage is going to be my last.
I have heard this so many times. I have seen it on the internet, but this is true for me. If I am going to commit to marrying someone, I want to make sure that it is the right person. I want to know who I am marrying, their goals for their future, and their lifelong plans. If something goes wrong, we will work together to fix it. I don't plan to get divorced.
If I know that he leave his underwear on the bathroom floor, I can either get him to work on not doing it, or I can learn to pick up after him. In the first weeks of marriage, I don't want to be learning about the things that drive me crazy about him. I want to be spending time with him. Cooking dinner together and not fighting. I want to have some of that little stuff out of the way, so we can move on to the bigger stuff like buying a house, traveling together, talking about kids.
5. Money is tight.
I saved this for last because it is kind of a lame reason. He is fresh out of college and just starting in the job market. I am still in college, living off every military dime that I can. I am paying for a study abroad trip and I am saving every penny for that. I don't plan on living in the dorms again because they are outrageously expensive. I don't have a ton of close girlfriends who are in the area or that are interested in getting a place together either.
Between Matt and I, we will learn to take care of our bills, grocery shopping, and having fun together. We will have good times and bad, but we will make it through it together. I guess we will see what the future brings to us.
Also, as far as I know, Matt doesn't leave his clothes on the bathroom floor, so we should be okay!
Do you have more reasons why to or to not move in with your significant other? Let me know!
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